These spicy and naughty jokes are not suitable for the faint-hearted or for coffee at grandma's. With a big dose of dark humor and smutty double meanings, they're guaranteed to cause hilarity. Which naughty joke do you think is the best? Cast your vote!
Cast your vote - the ranking shifts live based on the votes.
What's the first thing a 50-year-old woman has to pull off to get her husband into bed?
The TV plug.
What's the difference between your wife and your job?
After five years, your job still sucks.
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What's the difference between a G-spot and a ten-euro note?
Men do search for a ten-euro note.
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A vampire walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of boiling water...
A vampire walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of boiling water. The bartender says: “I thought vampires only drank blood.” The vampire pulls out a tampon and says: “I'm making tea!”
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Four cardinals die in an accident and stand at the gates of heaven
Four cardinals die in an accident and stand at the gates of heaven. Saint Peter demands a confession. The first: he pleasured the Pope with his left hand. “Rinse that hand in the holy water and you may enter.” The second: right hand. Same advice. Just as the third wants to start, the fourth pushes forward: “Can I go first? I want to rinse my mouth before that one sits in the holy water with his backside.”
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My sex life is like a theme park...
My sex life is like the Efteling theme park: long waits for short rides.
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A country boy and girl are lying next to each other on a dike...
A country boy and girl are lying next to each other on a dike. Suddenly a bull climbs on top of a cow. The boy says to the girl: “Shall I do that too?” The girl says: “What do I care? They're not my cows.”
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A group of nuns is cycling around, shrieking with laughter...
A group of nuns is cycling around, shrieking with laughter. At some point the Mother Superior shouts: “If you don't stop that racket, I'll put the saddles back on tomorrow!”
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A woman with a cat in her arms is standing at the bus stop
A woman with a cat in her arms is standing at the bus stop. A man walks by and asks: “May I pet your pussy?” She says: “Yes, but then someone has to hold the cat for a moment.”
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Sex, sex, sex, always sex
Sex, sex, sex, always sex. Why don't you talk about the weather for a change? “Okay – so when are we doing it again?” (In Dutch 'het weer' means both 'the weather' and 'again'.)
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