Top 10 Best Little Johnny Jokes

Jantje.

Jantje is walking down the street with his grandma. He sees a toy car lying on the ground. “Look grandma, a toy car, I'm taking it home!” “No Jantje,” says grandma, “leave it. Everything that lies on the ground is dirty.” A bit further on, Jantje sees a coin on the ground. “Look grandma, a coin! I'm putting it in my piggy bank!” And grandma says again: “No Jantje, leave it. Everything that lies on the ground is dirty!” A bit further on, grandma trips and falls flat. “Jantje dear, help grandma get up!” Jantje says: “No grandma, I'm not allowed, because everything that lies on the ground is dirty!”

Jantje's father asks where his report card is. Jantje answers: “All the little ducks are swimming in the water.” (A Dutch nursery rhyme – and a hint about all the low grades.)

Jantje asks the teacher: “Do you get punished for something you didn't do?” The teacher replies: “Er, no, why?” Jantje: “Because I didn't do my homework…”

Jantje goes cycling. “Look mom!” says Jantje. “No hands!” He falls. Then he gets back on his bike and shouts: “Look mom, no teeth!”

Jantje is in class and says to the teacher with a grin: “Sir, I have a riddle for you! First I'm dry, then I go in, and out, and in again, and out again, and then I'm wet – what am I?” The teacher turns red and shouts at Jantje that this kind of language won't be tolerated. Jantje is sent to the principal and even suspended for three weeks. At home his father sends him to his room without dinner. Jantje sits on his bed and doesn't get it at all: since when is a tea bag dirty?

Jantje comes home with a bad report card. “A report like this calls for a good spanking!” says his father angrily. Jantje replies: “Good idea, dad. I know where the teacher lives.”

Jantje comes home and says to his father: “Dad, when I grow up I want to be rich. I want a big house without a bathroom and eleven servants.” “No bathroom?” asks his father. Jantje: “No, because I want to be filthy rich.” (In Dutch 'stinkend rijk' – literally 'stinking rich'.)

Jantje walks into a hardware store and asks for nails. The salesman: “How long do you need them?” Jantje: “How long can you spare them?”

Jantje goes to the forest with grandma. Grandma: “Can you see the forest yet?” Jantje: “No, because all those trees are in the way!”