Dry humor works best when the punchline skillfully sidesteps every form of logic. You don't laugh at the depth, but at the disarming simplicity of the punchline. Which dry joke do you find the strongest? Cast your vote right away!
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Along the road there are often signs saying “Soft shoulder”. Why are there never signs saying “Hard shoulder”?
Because they can't get them into the ground.
It's yellow and if you get it in your eye, you're dead. What is it?
A high-speed train.
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It's a plant and if you lie under it for five minutes, you're dead. What is it?
A water lily.
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How can you tell a man has a small one?
He has a child seat on his bike.
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I have 31,866 heads, 996 necks, 4,453 legs and 8 eyes. What am I?
A liar. (In Dutch a 'liegebeest', literally a 'lying beast'.)
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It's green and it falls into the trash can at the exact moment the neighbor picks up the phone and a red car drives past. What is it?
Pure coincidence.
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“May I disturb you for a moment?”
A man asks: “May I disturb you for a moment?” The other man replies: “Sure, what is it?” The first man says: “Nothing, I just wanted to disturb you for a moment!”
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A man just had a finger amputated
A man just had a finger amputated. “Doctor, can I play the piano now?” he asks. The doctor nods: “Of course you can!” The man cheers: “Great! Because I couldn't before the operation!”
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I'm on the train with my feet on the seat
I'm on the train with my feet on the seat. The conductor comes by and asks: “Do you do that at home too?” I reply: “No, we don't have a train at home.”
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Little Red Riding Hood skips through the forest and sees the Big Bad Wolf...
Little Red Riding Hood skips through the forest and sees the Big Bad Wolf behind a tree. She walks up to him and says: “Wolf, what small eyes you have!” The Wolf shouts: “Get lost, I'm trying to poop!”
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